The Midtown Challenge

Current Status: Critical

Just an hour ago, I attempted The Midtown Monster Burger Challenge. When I found out about it, I couldn't help but to take it on. Now, I wish I hadn't. The challenge is: 4 big burger patties, 2 eggs, a full can of spam (about 3/4 pound), cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and 4 buns all piled on-top of each other to make one massive burger. It took the entire griddle to cook 2 burgers.

I was not alone for this challenge, My friend, John, attempted as well . . . and well he succeeded where I failed. You have 30 minutes to complete the task, but he only needed 16. I finished about 80% of mine before throwing in the towel. The giant slab of Spam was too much for me to handle.

After my defeat, I hobbled out to my truck, barely able to even walk. It is even hard to type. My belly is swollen and I am miserable. I am soon going to retire to bed, but I really don't know if I will even be able to sleep.

I have been defeated.